


Not anymore

by NiKaTaru



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Death, Halloween, Heartache, Inspired by Shadowhunters (TV), Love, M/M, One Shot, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 14:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16199786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiKaTaru/pseuds/NiKaTaru
Summary: This is a Malec FanFic - I wont give a summary - it would give too much away~ sorry





	Not anymore

**Author's Note:**

> !Warning for all the Malec Fans!  
>  you get attacked here~  
> but pls don't stop reading ~ the end will be worth it (at least in my opinion)
> 
> The FanFic starts exactly at the moment we left Malec in 3x10

The fight went on in the building beside him. A few moments later there was a loud noise up on the rooftop.

But Magnus didn't hear it.

He didn't realize any of it.

His arm still holding Alec was shaking. He had tried to reach Catarina multiple times. He had tried to figure out a possibility to get Alec help. But there wasn't one. He hadn't a magical healing potion in his lair. And without magic...

Alec coughed and got back the attention of his boyfriend.

"Stay with me~ please~ Alexander." His voice soft but drained with fear.

The young man opened his mouth again. With the apologetic look in his eyes he tried to say something, but no word would come over his lips. Magnus vision blurred from the tears in his eyes. He gulped. Alec’s Hand sunk to the ground. His eyes closed, when his head slowly fell against Magnus shoulder.

"No~" nothing more than a waft.

"Alexander? Wake up. Please! Stay with me! Alexander~ please... please don't leave me, Alexander!"

Heavy laid the dead body of his boyfriend in his arm. Shaking again he fell down on him. His tears mingled with Alec’s blood.

 

He didn't know how he got home the day. But he was alone. Jace was completely messed up with Clary gone and Alec dead. Isabelle would try to stay strong for Jace and cover her own tears. But nobody care for him, not anymore.

Catarina was lost in work and she shouldn't be here. She has to be there for Madzie that was more important than his problems. And what should she even do? Neither could she bring back his magic, which seem totally useless to him now anyways nor would he allow her to bring Alexander back, even if she could. He thought about it himself, he remembered on the way home. But that wasn't an option. Too much could go wrong and he, Alec, was the only thing he never wanted to mess up. He couldn’t stand it if his boyfriend become a human body possessed by a demon. Again he got lost in his thoughts.

That didn’t change the next days. He lost himself more and more. He drank too much. He found himself anywhere in his lair the next mornings, not knowing how he got there nor interested in. The alcohol didn't work well with his mortal body, but why should he even care anymore. Nobody else seems to, not anymore.

 

But this morning was different. It was worse. He woke up in his bed. Alone! He hadn't notice how much he had get used to Alec been beside him when he wake up until he wasn’t anymore. He should have told him to move in. He shouldn't have pushed him away with that. At least he would have something of his here now. Taking the Omamori out of his pocket he slowly brushes his thumb over it.

"I miss you." His voice broke between the whispered words. A sob escaped his throat. His heart broke more with every thought of him. Every day another crack. He had let him unlock his heart. He had taken him in, loved him with his heart and soul. And now he couldn't repair it. He doesn’t even want to.

He had put the Omamori in the box yesterday, only to take it out the next second and throw the rest against the next wall. It was hard, every single death of every one he had memorized in there, but it was nothing against what he feels now. He had loved Alec so deep and still does. But he lost him. Alec couldn’t hug him. He couldn’t love him back, not anymore.

 

It was nothing he could get used to. His heart bleeds more every day. The pain hurts him every night, hunting him in nightmares that never end.

Every single night he saw him die.

Every single night he couldn't save him.

His feet had brought him out to the upper balcony. He remembered the party for Max’s Rune Ceremony. He remembered seeing Alec standing on the railing. Falling! It doesn't seem so bad from up here now. Would it hurt less if he would drink more? Taking the last shot of his glass of whisky he let it fall all the way down to the now nearly empty street, being dark beyond him in this upcoming night. Again he fumbles out the Omamori-charm and bit his lips. Hold it far and farer away. He could feel how he loses the grip of it and that it would tangle down like the whisky glass. He could pretend just to catch it. Nobody would ever know. Nobody would care, not anymore.

It was only one step.

"Don't!" The voice let him shake. He lost his balance. Someone grabs his arm and pulls him back. Down from the railing and back to the rooftop.

"I said~ don't." he could hear Alec’s voice clearer now, set but soft, while the Omamori silently falls down besides them.Magnus eyes wander up to the pale half translucent figure of his boyfriend, still unbelieving.

“This isn’t real. It can’t be.”

“But still I’m here.”

“I… I saw you die.” Magnus vision started to blurred again.

“I’m dead.”

Magnus sob.

“Then why are you here? To remind me of what I lost? Isn’t the pain big enough?”

“Do you think it doesn’t hurt me, to see you on the rooftop, ready to jump?” Alexander asks back a bit harsh. Then stepping back his voice gets a soft tone.

“I wanted to see you. I… I needed to. You taught me once that ghosts can go through the gates of dimensions in the night of Halloween. So I did. But to see you there~ I couldn’t let you die, Magnus.” Magnus gaze wandered to his feet.

“Why?” Alexander’s ghost now kneels down to lift up the Omamori and hands it back to his boyfriend.

“This should bring you luck and protection. Maybe you should life because it works.” With still shaking hand Magnus takes the present back.

“But it doesn’t.” nearly silently his words come out of his mouth when he looks up again.

“You were my luck, but you are gone. You were the one that protect me…”

“And I still do. See.” Alec ends his sentence.

“You are a ghost. You are dead, Alexander.” The words killed him a thousand times inside.

“But I still can touch you.” He pointed out, that nothing was just black and white.

“You may have saved me tonight. But you can’t stay here.”

“Why?” nearly innocent Alec’s voice came to him, when Magnus could feel the soft hands around his own still holding the Omamori.

“Those are the rules.”

"Rules like the law?" Magnus looked at him questioningly now.

"What if…” Alec starts while he let his fingers wander up Magnus arms. “… I found the loophole and use it?"

Magnus eyes widen a bit.

"What do you mean, Alexander?" New hope cautious coming up in his voice, while he tries to resist to snuggle himself into Alec’s slightly cold arms.

"The rule only says that the gate opens and the ghosts can get though. It doesn't say anything about us have to return after it." Magnus could feel the little cold touch, when Alec got close enough to feel his breath as if he had one.

"But you still would be a ghost."

"And you are a warlock without magic. Since when let we define us through this again?"

Magnus smiled softly for the first time since he had lost the man in front of him. Slightly cold arms now lie around him and he doesn’t want to resist anymore. Softly Magnus hands grip in the former black shirt of his love, while he gets closer.

“How did you get so wise my dear Alexander?”

One of the lovely smiles his boyfriend only saves for him sets on Alexander’s lips.

“So~ you are back?” Magnus nearly was too afraid to ask.

“I am. Forever!” Alec’s voice came out in a softly promise. Then he overcame the last bit between them and kissed him with all his love. Magnus replyed it gently, feeling how he slowly began to melt. And for a second Magnus could feel Alexander’s cold lips warm up against his own.

 

He wasn’t alone, not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my FanFiction  
> I hope you liked it~  
> If so you might like this vid from @banesrune (twitter) too
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix_tZj-S2VA&feature=youtu.be
> 
> I saw it the other day~ and it is so beautiful~ sad~ and full of overwhelming love  
> and in my opinion fits very good to this FanFic
> 
> @banesrune allowed me to put the link in here (Thank you again for it) 
> 
> and if you liked it leave kudos, thumbs up and a commy please~


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